CLOCKWISE FROM TOP LEFT: Marcia Mishaan, Dr. Bennett Shaywitz, Dr. Sally Shaywitz, and Richard Mishaan; Aubrey O’Day; Jamie Foxx and Cindy Guyer.

I hop an angel is watching over this adrift teen idol who’s in a speedboat headed for deep water—sans life jacket. As she careens around unsupervised with an assortment of dubious characters, her parents are nowhere to be found. (Unless, of course, there’s a press op.) The family of this kid (not a Jonas) is too famous and too rich for education the old-fashioned way—i.e., showing up in school. Paris, Drew, Lindsay, and Tatum are role models. When this star gets caught drinking, drugging, and sleeping around it will be front-page news. Let’s call this hottie “A.”

Both her mummy and daddy were famous in their day, and now they’re trying to use “A” as a vehicle for their comebacks. Mummy was on TV and Daddy called himself an actor/singer/producer. Lets call this delusional duo “B” and “C.”

A” is so young that I might get arrested for writing this story, since it crosses state lines via the mail. There are at least four people who are supplying and using this girl, and she shouldn’t be having bisexual trysts with people old enough to be her gym teacher or priest. When the inevitable happens, “A” will lose untold millions in endorsements. Think Britney before she kissed Madonna—back when she was dating Justin Timberlake and her irresponsible parents and studio press agents were touting her virginity. The muckety-mucks who write “A”’s checks called “B” and “C” into a meeting and showed them a file of photos and reports from investigators hired to trail their daughter. “B” and “C” threatened to sue for invasion of privacy until they realized the consequences. The corporates wanted to check “A” into Betty Ford, but they settled on a daily shrink, drug cops, and bodyguards to monitor her 24/7. Someone will leak or sell these pics, since history always repeats itself. The whole sordid mess is a bomb even 007 couldn’t defuse in time. But I can wait if you can….

Jamie Foxx celebrated his 41st birthday at celebrity favorite Mansion. Just weeks after Diddy’s natal night, Foxx danced on banquettes to his new single, Just Like Me, and flirted shamelessly with romance cover model Cindy Guyer, who delivered a cake to the man of the hour. Guyer told model and celebrity trainer Michael Jasper, who was just on the cover of Videostar, that she’s single and had just returned from Vegas, where she modeled shoes for Victoria’s Secret and shot campaigns for Bijou and Con Air. Guests included Lydia Harris—the Death Row records heiress who won $107 million from Suge Knight—and Vincent Carroll, CEO of Vegas Style Entertainment.

The Yale Center for Dyslexia & Creativity, founded by Drs. Sally and Bennett Shaywitz, held a benefit at the Park Avenue Armory. The event, a preview party for Antiques and Art at the Armory, was orchestrated by Meg Geslin and featured more than 70 dealers (including Damiani, Cliff Lee Porcelain, and M.S. Rau Antiques) and an array of beautiful objects dating as far back as the 17th century. Proceeds will fund dyslexia research programs’ awareness-raising efforts. Cochairs included Claude Wasserstein, Julie Dannenberg, and Marcia Mishaan and her husband, Richard, who designed the show. Also in attendance: Nicole Miller, Tory Burch, Fe and Alessandro Fendi, Liz Lange, Janna Bullock, Gillian and Sylvester Miniter, Gigi Mortimer, Patty Raynes, actor-model Jeremiah Silva, Harriette Rose Katz, plastic surgeon Dr. Alan Freedman, Andrea Correale, Patty Smyth, and Michele Gerber Klein, as well as interior designers Tony Ingrao and Randy Kemper, Lisa Jackson, and Campion Platt.

Aubrey O’Day appeared at Highbar with Sky Group founders Alan Philips and Josh Shames for their BlackBerry Pearl Flip launch party. Later that evening the former Hairspray star cozied up to a young woman whom she introduced to designer Alvin Valley, Via dei Mille’s Barry Mullineaux, and Phoenix Rising Laser owner Paul Morgan, who had just worked on champion bodybuilder Zeb Atlas and Kyra Sedgwick’s actor-brother Rob and his girlfriend. Now who else would tell you these things?

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