Anne Hathaway and Russell Crowe at the Costume Designers Guild Awards (Photo: Christopher Polk/gettyimages.com)

Lets turn back the clock to last Tuesday’s 15th Annual Costume Designers Guild Awards at The Beverly Hilton hotel. On the red carpet, a sexy Jany Temime, who designed the costumes for Skyfall, took some of the fun out of the film when she told me that they built the fortress-like Scottish castle where Bond grew up “40 miles” from London. Comedian Joel McHale, the host of the event, kept hammering costumer Eduardo Castro, who gave a runaway speech and then came back to read a speech for a friend who won but couldn't attend. McHale also had zingers for Jon Hamm: “I stand for every man here when I say, ‘I fuckin' hate you.’” He summed up Anne Hathaway's role as “playing a sad French lady who died in a movie my wife saw . . . I'm sure it was great.”

Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph at the Costume Designers Guild Awards (Photo: Jason Merritt/gettyimages.com)

Amy Poehler and Maya Rudolph also killed it onstage. “We are honored that you've asked us to introduce the clip that will bring out the guy who will introduce the person who will present the collaborators award to SNL producer Lorne Michaels for collaborating with costumers," said Poehler. And when Russell Crowe was introducing Anne Hathaway for the Lacoste Spotlight Award, he claimed that she had, at one point, wanted to become a nun. "And then she found out they're actually required to wear underpants when they go out at night, so she ditched that idea," he said. Hathaway quipped back, "I was wondering when you were going to make a joke about that…" 

Andrew Bloom and Miranda Kerr at the Global Green Pre-Oscars Party (Photo: Alexandra Wyman/gettyimages.com)

On Wednesday, at the annual Global Green Pre-Oscars fête at Avalon, Luke Perry kept talking to me about greywater (waste), like I knew what he meant. “In the first year alone, the waterless urinal saved over a billion gallons of water in Los Angeles," he insisted. Of course, the big iced coffee I had downed had made me feel as if I could use one pronto. Meanwhile, Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom, a longtime supporter of Global Green, walked the carpet arm in arm.

Oprah and students at the Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards (Photo: Frederick M. Brown/gettyimages.com)

The next morning, I arrived at the Beverly Hills Hotel a half-hour early for the annual Essence Black Women In Hollywood Awards. I have a ritual of eating breakfast at the counter in the Fountain Room, a tiny jewel of a diner downstairs. While a waitress in a pink uniform was bringing me an egg white omelette, Eddie Redmayne came in for a coffee to-go. The waitress, oblivious to all stars, later told me she hadn't seen Les Mis. So Redmayne had to wait for his coffee. Downstairs, Oprah walked the gauntlet of press with six girls from the Oprah Winfrey Leadership Academy for Girls. What a generous woman. Big smiles expressed what a highlight in life this was for the girls. I also ran into Jill Scott, Tracee Ellis Ross, and Kelly Rowland, who had on crazy-tall heels. In the spirit of learning to be down with the people, Oprah and the gals were led into the room by a team of security guards. A photographer rushed through to try and get a picture of her and Oprah on her iPhone. But it apparently didn’t come out. "After all that, it came out blurry!" indicated the nutcase.

Adrien Brody and Lara Lieto at Hollywood Domino (Photo: Paul Bruinooge/patrickmcmullan.com)

That night, following a backstage tour of the Dolby Center (where the Academy Awards take place), Hollywood Domino—sponsored by Bovet 1822 and benefiting Arts for Peace and Justice: Relief for Haiti—held its annual black-tie gala at Sunset Tower in the space where Vanity Fair holds its Oscar party. Adrien Brody and his gal pal arrived and skipped all press on the carpet. And when she likely thought no one was looking, his date latched on to him and tongued his ear. Wow, did she have on a short dress.

Gerard Butler at Hollywood Domino (Photo: Paul Bruinooge/patrickmcmullan.com)

"I've been involved with the charity since one week before the earthquake, just by coincidence," said Gerard Butler, one of the last to arrive. "Since [the earthquake] we've done events all around the world. I was down in Haiti actually when we'd bought the land, which has been converted so far into 48 earthquake-proof classrooms, with 1,400 children enrolled—and there will be 3,000.” And how is he at dominoes? "To be perfectly honest," he said. "I'm absolutely crap and I haven't played for years."

Jessica Chastain and Daniel Radcliffe at the Women in Film Pre-Oscar Cocktail Party (Photo: Nicholas Hunt/gettyimages.com)

Friday evening, Dispatches raced through terrible traffic to catch the annual Women in Film Pre-Oscar Cocktail Party at Fig & Olive, a sumptuous Italian restaurant on Melrose Place. Silver Linings Playbook actress Jacki Weaver, nominated for the best supporting actress Oscar, mentioned that she was ready for Sunday. "I've just got to wash my hair and I'll be all right. But I was more overwhelmed last time.'' (Weaver was nominated for best supporting actress in 2011, for her role in Animal Kingdom.) And Zero Dark Thirty's Jessica Chastain—then a front-runner for the best actress Oscar—wasn't stopping on the carpet. She was 45 minutes late to the fête. Her beau, Gian Luca Passi de Preposulo, an Italian count who works for Moncler, is a head taller than her. And while it was chilly on the carpet, it was toasty warm like a pizza oven inside. Chastain had hugs for Viola Davis and Daniel Radcliffe, and some smooches left over for Gian Luca.

Bruce Willis and Emma Heming at the Film Independent Spirit Awards (Photo: Kevin Winter/gettyimages.com)

Saturday morning, at the Film Independent Spirit Awards, in an endless tent on the beach at Santa Monica, Marina Abramovic said she thought she was "totally overdressed in Givenchy." But the look worked. Meanwhile, Bruce Willis and wife Emma Heming weren’t shy about PDA on the red carpet. Also in good spirits, Jack Black called out “It’s a good day. The beach is good!” on his way inside. Looking snappy in a white jacket, Chris Tucker said the whole thing reminded him of prom.

Matthew McConaughey at the Film Independent Spirit Awards (Photo: Kevin Winter/gettyimages.com)

Matthew McConaughey, who won the best supporting actor Indie Spirit award for Magic Mike, described his character’s gym outfit as a cross between Baryshnikov and Richard Simmons. “The first thing was form fitting ballet tights. I had to buy ballet slippers, too. That’s the Richard Simmons-Baryshnikov thing. There were weeklong talks about this,” he added.

Andy Samberg and Joanna Newsom at the Film Independent Spirit Awards (Photo: Jason Merritt/gettyimages.com)

At the On 3 Productions/Mattel games presenters gift lounge, in a small tent on the same lot as the Indie Spirit awards, it was temporary swag blindness for this writer. But I did manage to spot a few swag snaggers: Kerry Washington, Jeremy Renner, Chris Tucker, Common, Kyle MacLachlan, Quvenzhané Wallis, Bryan Cranston, and Jason Schwartzman. Hansel & Gretel star Renner snapped up a one-year membership to Crunch and a private island getaway from Caribbean Living Magazine. And just as Renner downed a big spoonful of Yoplait Greek 100, awards show host Andy Samberg wrapped the show by shouting, "I'll meet you in the parking lot, Jeremy Renner!" Renner snapped back, "Oh, I will see him in the parking lot!"